Wednesday, 30 November 2016

Five of the Reasons I love my Husband

Last night, Tharin and I accidentally stayed up until eleven at night because we accidentally got really intense about our gingerbread nativity. When I was a kid I do not remember making gingerbread houses very often, but it was something that Tharin's family did every year, and it is a tradition he wants to keep for his children. With our desire to make Christ the center of every part of Christmas, we decided that we wanted to make a nativity scene instead of the traditional candy-covered house.

Enter every colour of icing you can imagine, free-cut animals, and paint brushes. At one point I had to stop and laugh at us, covered in icing and bent so seriously over our various figures, because we were being such perfectionists about cookies. 

As I looked over at Tharin, just as focussed and engrossed in the cookie decorating as I was, I was so grateful to be married to a man who would spend his night doing something like that with me, and for it to be partially his idea. This is not the first time I have thought recently about how glad I am to have a husband that is so invested in the same things as I, who cares just as deeply about nurturing our children and the imagination and magic of childhood.

Which is why I thought it was appropriate to write a post about some of the reasons I appreciate and love my husband. First of all, I want to mention that I spent a lot of my life thinking about how I was going to parent, and I distinctly remember coming to the terrifying realization that I had left someone out in my planning- my kid's dad. It had never occurred to me to even consider the influence the other person in the child-making scenario would have on the kids that came out, and when it did, it scared me.

Not knowing who this person would be, I was worried about if they would agree with me, if they would be nurturing in the way I imagined my kids would need to be. If they would be patient and loving and supportive. Then I met Tharin, and my fears dissipated pretty quickly. I chose Tharin for a lot of reasons, but I remember my mom saying, "I understand why you would pick Tharin, Olivia, he is going to be a great dad," and it was true.

Without further ado, here are just five of the things I love about my husband, that also all happen to make him a great partner in parenting, as well.

He gets really excited about things. How boring would it be to live with a person that was never excited about anything? And while the things he is passionate about are sometimes completely beyond my understanding, I love and appreciate that he is the way that he is.

The Saskatchewan Roughriders, Tim Neufeld and the Glory Boys. Ice fishing, regular fishing as well, but especially ice fishing. Yeah, one of his favourite things has the word ice right there in the title.  He loves most holidays, but especially Halloween as it involves making costumes, and he loves making (and wearing) costumes.

He always says that if his current career does not work out, he is going to become a chef. When he was home on parental leave, he was a little bored at first, and we were talking about hobbies. While he does love working with wood, and building me the many projects I discover on Pinterest, what he discovered he really loves, is making good food. When I search for a recipe I generally choose the easiest one I can find the quickest, but he loves searching for the best recipe, often the most difficult and exquisite, and he gets very involved in it. This is one of the things that he gets excited about that excites me the most because it means I get to eat homemade donuts and pretzels and Cajun caesar wraps.

He probably follows more random celebrities on Instagram because he has the entire cast of Full House, sports teams, news networks. He loves music, and can, and will, talk my ear off about deejaying, banjos, blue grass, Hank Williams, broadway musicals, and his beard.

The thing I am most glad he gets excited about, though, is the kids. I cannot tell you how long we stood in Winners deliberating over their vehicle selection for Jerome's Christmas present.  Or in Michaels choosing which animals to buy for the kid's stockings. He was right in there with me, weighing pros and cons, inspecting each one, and he was just as excited as me to get home with the garbage truck we bought to take it out of its packaging and see how it worked.

Like me, he cares so much about these things because he is a child at heart, and he wants to make childhood as special for our kids as he can. He is excited about making a fort to watch Toy Story in, so excited to do things like Trick or Treating and gingerbread house making, and that brings me to my next point.

He is an amazing dad. And I really mean it. Both of our sons are absolutely obsessed with him and are generally more receptive to men because of him.

He is compassionate with them to a fault, like yesterday when Jerome was a tiny bit sick, and Tharin wanted to spoil him all day. I am not always the most empathetic person though, so I am glad that I have such an empathetic better half to balance out my lack, and to learn from.
It takes a lot to make him impatient, especially with the kids, and this makes me so grateful. I am not always the most patient person, but it is something I think is genuinely important when it comes to raising kind, respectful, and patient children, and it is something I could never have nagged him into being. I suspect if he had not been a patient person, I would have just had to live with it for life, or until he came around to growing out of it himself, and I know I would have been sad to see it affecting my children.

I spent a lot of time around kids, did a lot of babysitting, and was the third oldest in a pretty big family, so knowing a little bit about kids came naturally to me. Tharin was the youngest in his family, even in the cousins, so he had a different experience when it came to seeing a lot of little kids, but he constantly surprises me with his natural instinct. Although it does not surprise me really at all, as that brings me to the next thing I love about him.

He is wise. He does not do nearly as much reading as I do, but most of the time, he completely understands or implements the things I decide to do in my reading before I even talk to him. This is often when I am surprised by his natural instinct. Like when I was first starting to put Jerome on the potty and Tharin knew, before me, that he just was not ready yet.

He always has such a reasonable and wise answer to questions I have, especially about the faith, and I completely trust that he is genuine in what he says. Honestly, I have no idea how he seems to know so much, but I am so grateful that he does, so grateful that he is the leader in that way. He makes our home safe and makes me feel grounded because of how steady and sure he is. He is not generally the guy to be the center of attention, does not have a flashy personality, but I think that when Tharin has something to say, you listen.

When we were first dating I was so worried about being with someone that was so quiet, so worried that my friends and family would think he was boring, but I was so drawn to him regardless, and soon realized that people that get to know Tharin quickly like him. Something that worried me about him when we were dating has, in a way, become one of the things I love most about him.

He is an early riser. I am very sincere about this one. I never would have known how important this was to me, but it has proven to be something I love so much about him that it makes the top five list. On the weekends I always get to sleep in, for which I am unspeakably grateful. He always gets up with the kids without a word of complaint because he is up anyway, which is great because I am the farthest thing from being a naturally early riser.

And when he gets up early, he always makes a pot of coffee (bless him) and I swear I do not even know how to make fancy breakfasts because in our three years of marriage it has never been up to me to get breakfast on the table (unless it's a weekday and you're getting cereal, kid). This is imperative when we have guests over, as, even if we were up until all hours the night before, Tharin is always up making breakfast scramble and a pot of coffee - probably saying something like, "This isn't my best breakfast," while we roll our eyes and gobble up his delicious food.

He is musical. My family has had a band together for quite a few years, and though we are not super busy with it, when we do get asked to play at events it is something I really enjoy. This summer we were asked to play at a big Catholic event near Calgary, and it was such a fun experience. I kept thinking throughout the many band practices, some of them harrowing, and up on the stage at the event when I looked over at Tharin there with me, that I am so grateful to be able to share that with him.

When I was a teenager, I wrote a list of all the characteristics I thought I needed in a husband. At the end, I put a little star and said: bonus if he is musical. It is more important than I realized to share something that I get so excited about, with him. We love many of the same bands, get just as excited about new songs and learning them together, and are just so on par when it comes to music.

Not to even mention how much he makes me laugh, how easy it is to talk to him, and how similarly we view the world. Nor how cute he looks in a toque or when he has a new haircut, and hey, we made two babies already, so that part isn't so bad either.

There you have it, some of the reasons I love my guy.


  1. I love this Olivia! You're a lucky gal :)

  2. Aww I miss my fishies, especially the king fish over there