Potty Learning with Montessori | Part 2

For the past two weeks, we have been really relaxed about potty learning, allowing him to choose diapers, underwear, or to go nude each day. I usually try to encourage him to use underwear or go
nude at least once a day so he notices when he wets or has a chance to go on the potty.

Potty Learning in Three Main Phases

The way I see it, potty learning will be in three main phases:

First of all, it is important to give your child the option of underwear or a diaper each day, and to not be disappointed if they choose a diaper that day. The process has to be about them being in control, and if you force them to wear underwear, this flips the control.

1. Naked or just in underwear: learning what happens when he has the sensation and that it creates wetness. Detaching myself from expecting success and not putting too much pressure on him to go on the potty. Gentle suggestions and talking about his accidents, giving him the opportunity to go on the potty himself (which he does!)
2. Pants: as I like the aspect of the child learning through natural consequences (seeing and feeling the wetness) but feel that pants add a level of difficulty they may not be ready for at first, adding pants into the learning equation is a whole other step in my opinion.
3. Showing overall trust: giving him the choice to wear underwear to bed or out of the house. Preparing for the likelihood of accidents with extra clothes and mattress protectors on the bed and not showing disappointment or frustration if they do have an accident. It is so beneficial for the child to feel that you trust them.

The other day, it just clicked for him.

It was the weekend, and Tharin was up with him while I napped. I woke up to his potty on the bed next to me, filled with pee. Neither of us had been involved in the process at all. He proceeded to use the potty all day and has done so for the past few days.

Sometimes he wants to tell me about it, sometimes he wants to do the entire process on his own. Sometimes he celebrates, sometimes he does not.
Usually, if he wets somewhere other than the toilet, he tells me.
Other times he will be on daddy's shoulders and suddenly Tharin will find out he is wet.

Whatever it is, we try to be calm, supportive, and positive.

It seems to me that the shift happened when I absolutely stopped interfering, stopped asking him if he wanted to sit on the potty, stopped putting him on my schedule. He has definitely wet on the floor, on the couch, on the kitchen chairs, but there was a noticeable shift in his attitude.

When it stopped being something mommy was pushing, it gave him room to figure it out, for it to make sense to him.

Yesterday we were reading a book on the couch and suddenly he said, "Potty!" and ran down the hall, leaving his underwear on the way, and he made it, all on his own.

Update On the Other Fishy

And because I feel like I do not mention Benedict enough, here is what he has been up to. He is growing a fifth tooth, which is coming in handy because he is practicing eating. I usually give him food from my plate cut into tiny pieces, or thin strips, depending on what it is. This is working amazingly for him, and he surprises me every day with how well he feeds himself.

I am trying to wear him a more; I feel he needs more physical contact with me, and it is difficult for me to slow down for him. We just figured out our first back hold today and he was so happy, so I forsee a lot of this hold in the future. If you want to learn it as well, I found some really good videos on Youtube, the most helpful being this one.

Thank you so much for reading. For the rest of Jerome's potty learning journey, check out Part 1| Part 3 | Part 4 | & Part 5

God bless,

Olivia Fischer