The Power of Redirection in Meeting Children's Needs

If you have spent any time in our home, you will know about the red couch.

Or as most children refer to it the jumping couch.

Yes, we have a couch in our house specifically designated for jumping, and this is why.

How the Jumping Couch Came to Be

When Jerome was younger, he was constantly wanting to jump on the living room couches. In the summertime, I would try to redirect him to the trampoline.

But we live in Alberta, Canada, and many months of the year our trampoline is put away, and it is simply too cold for the children to play outside for more than twenty minutes. This is not enough physical activity for growing children.

As a result, I saw my children's need to expend physical energy, especially when they are quite literally cooped up in the house, as entirely reasonable. Enter the red couch, a free, very old, very broken-in piece of furniture we got when we were first married.

Instead of just telling the boys to stop jumping on the couch I wanted to redirect them to a specified outlet, as we generally try to do, rather than simply giving them a limit. As a result, we started redirecting any child we see jumping on the couch: I see you are wanting to jump. I will not allow you to jump on the brown couches, but you may go jump on the red couch if you would like to.

I know not everyone will agree with this method, and I know there are people who will be shocked because isn't it dangerous to allow children to jump on the couch?

To that I say, children need, and thrive on a little bit of risky play. Call me crazy, but I'm that mom. And no, they do not go over to other people's houses and jump on couches willy-nilly, if they do, I simply say this couch is not like the red couch at home that you are allowed to jump on. We need to respect this couch, and so-and-sos rules, and not jump here. 

Why Is Redirection so Effective?

No. I don’t think this was the only answer. We could have gotten a small trampoline for in the house, made a hopscotch game with masking tape on the floor, encouraged the making of obstacle courses, among many other ideas. This is just the idea that worked for us in this specific instance.

In many instances, there are similar ways that redirection may help your home to run more smoothly.

This idea of redirection, rather than simply enforcing a limit and leaving it at that, helps our home to run more smoothly for so many reasons.

Most of all, because of how it helps the child process a need. It has been so helpful to stand back and consider why a child is pursuing a certain activity. Are trying to fulfill a developmental need or explore an interest? What might the reason be behind a behavior? Do they understand the boundary and simply need it reinforced, or is there something deeper going on?

In so many cases, these actions are a powerful communication from our child, and a valuable opportunity for us to help them constructively meet the outcome they are seeking.

And sometimes, before interfering or redirecting at all, I like to stand back and observe, considering if what the child is doing is truly harmful and if my intervention is necessary at all. Sometimes, I allow the child to continue what they are doing, especially if they are engrossed in the work, and if necessary, make sure to involve them in the clean up, afterward.

Some Practical Examples

If Ignatius is dumping something I do not want him to be dumping, like the box of tea bags he seems to always be getting his hands on, I redirect him to a tray of noodles for dumping, or a basket of cloths.

If a child is making a mess with water, I may redirect them to washing dishes at the sink or to a bath.

If a child is drawing somewhere other than a piece of paper at the table, I will redirect them to the designated crafting area.

If a child is trying to eat something from the pantry that I do not want them snacking on, I will offer them some alternatives.

I say yes to running up and down our hall, and redirect the children if they are running through the kitchen.


What are some ways you can give your child a yes to turn to when you need to enforce a boundary?


Want to dive into respectful parenting but do not know where to start, or where to go from here? Check out some of the books that I have found most helpful:

Secret of Childhood - Maria Montessori | No Bad Kids, Toddler Discipline With No Shame - Janet Lansbury | The Absorbent Mind - Maria Montessori | Unconditional Parenting - Alfie Kohn | Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child - John Gottman, Phd




Thank you for reading! If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to contact me. I would also love to hear any suggestions for posts you would like me to write about. And if you are interested in following along in our daily adventures, follow us on Instagram where I post daily.

God bless,
Olivia Fischer