Why I Let My Child Wear His Pants Backwards

Come to my house these days (or lets be honest, see us around town or at a friend's house) and chances are, you will find my toddler, Ignatius, wearing at least one item of clothing backwards. Probably both. (Okay, all three, including his underwear, if he's wearing any at all - but that's a whole other story.)

I have received so many questions.

Why don't I intervene if I see him putting something on backwards?

Why don't I fix it?

Doesn't it bother me?

All of my kids have gone through a phase of putting things on backwards. I've given them tips, like "make sure the picture is on the front!" "the string on the sweat pants shows you that that part goes right under your tummy!" "if you wear your underwear like this, it may feel more comfortable on your bum!" Eventually the two older got it, of course.

I am pretty confident Ignatius will figure it out in the next few months, as well.

With that being said, I actually feel a lot of joy when I see Ignatius in his backwards outfits. Tharin and I smile at each other and give him a little extra kiss when he comes upstairs with his jeans backwards, zipper undone, everything a little airy when he bends down.

Why?

 Because his independence is a beautiful thing to witness, because this phase (when they know how to dress themselves but haven't quite figured it out all the way) is so fleeting.

Maybe if I am there with him when he is getting dressed, I give him guidance before he gets things turned around. I might lay his pants down right-side-up for him to shimmy into. I might quickly flip the shirt around his neck if I notice that it's lopsided. 

But most of the time, he is dressed for the day before I even see him. Most of the time, he changes himself two to four times a day because he got wet in the sprinkler, or washing his hands, or missing the potty, and he goes downstairs and gets himself into a new outfit before I even know something was wrong with the first one.

And once he is dressed, I would rather respect his independence, his pride in what he has accomplished on his own, and his journey toward self-correction, than interpose my own sense of rightness. 

This freedom to make mistakes without constantly being corrected, is an important aspect of developing self confidence, and important factor in raising children that love learning.

There is harm in over helping our children, I write a little bit about this in my post on hummingbird parenting, but I really don't see a harm in under helping in situations where they are perfectly capable, and happy, helping themselves.

Read about how I am teaching my children to be productively bored | building better play habits | when we say yes to screen time | our favourite craft supplies for toddlers

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God bless,
Olivia Fischer