Montessori in Real Life: the Truth about Kids in the Kitchen

I still remember when Jerome first started asking to help with more tasks in the kitchen. One morning I was making scrambled eggs and he asked to help crack them.

I really wanted to say no.

But I didn't.

I showed him how, not speaking but allowing him to watch my hands as I carefully, gently, cracked the egg into the measuring dish. This showing, rather than telling, is an important part of teaching kids in the most effective way possible.

Do not tell them how to do it, show them how to do it and do not say a word. If you tell them, they will watch your lips move, if you show them, they will want to do it themselves. [Maria Montessori]

Then I gave him an egg and the space to put in his best effort.

And his first attempts were messy. Sometimes they ended with an egg cracked onto the counter. More often than not, we had to fish out pieces of eggshell. Or scoop egg off the counter. Always, it resulted in a little extra mess, which he would then clean up.

But he developed the skill, he developed confidence, he contributed to the life of the family that felt truly valuable and meaningful for him.

Now he can crack eggs, at four, with ease.

Be ready for the real mess that often comes with real learning

I've written before about why we should allow our children to help in the kitchen. There are so many truly valuable experiences for children to be involved in in the kitchen. Such real practical work. So many ways they can develop skills and engage their senses.

But like anything that involves children, it can be a little messier, it can take a little more time. Involving our kids in these types of tasks involves a great deal of stepping back and allowing mistakes to happen. Allowing exploration and tasting and questions to slow down the end result. And it can be full of opportunities for us to become frustrated or irritated as parents.

As I shared in my post on where to start with kids in the kitchen, it is important to follow your child, but it is equally important to follow yourself. If you aren't comfortable with something, or a certain task stresses you out, try something different instead.

In order for our kids to develop confidence in themselves, they need to feel your support and confidence.

So always start with where you feel comfortable, or where you can become comfortable.

What this all comes down to

Essentially, that's the truth I wanted to share about having kids help in the kitchen. 

You might see that child stirring eggs by themselves on an Instagram story, see that caption about a loaf of banana bread made from start-to-finish by a Montessori child and wonder how it is possible.

In reality, it takes:

• Space, or freedom within limits: the child needs to be shown how to complete a task but then given the space to experiment, build skills, problem solve, and repeat.
• Confidence on the part of the parent, which will instill confidence in the child
• An understanding of the work cycle so that the child truly completes a task from start to finish
• A comfortability with a task being done imperfectly or differently
• Practice, practice, practice

Thank you for reading! If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to contact me. I would also love to hear any suggestions for posts you would like me to write about. And if you are interested in following along in our daily adventures, follow us on Instagram where I post daily.

God bless,
Olivia Fischer